Just a quick announcement, here, before we get into the actual post! I think I’m going to try moving my normal Friday posts to Monday and see how that fits my schedule until the end of the semester…as you can tell, Fridays haven’t been working out the best recently 😉
I know I’ve been talking about more serious things a lot recently, and you’re going to have to bear with me through one more post like that here 😉 I’ve had a lot running through my mind, and I just felt like it was a good idea to share some of it 🙂
Anyways, in the last post I did, I was talking about how much I learned and how great it all was and all that jolly stuff, and then proceeded to get a little smacked around by life. Luckily said smacking around was accompanied with some very solid advice, and, as the title said, I believe a good lesson learned (Or lessons, rather).
Pride is an awful thing. I honestly only considered myself proud (In the stereotypical way, I suppose) once in a while, and that was quite proud of me to do. I never really thought about how pride is the underlying cause of most every other problem we encounter in our day to day life. One of our pastors was preaching on humility and pride last night, and at one point, he listed a few things (actions and responses, mostly) that indicated a prideful state of mind, and I regretfully could see every single one in my own life. That’s not a really fun thing to realize 😉
It was a sort of wake-up call for me. I’ve struggled with a bad temper quite a bit, and will often defend myself over the stupidest things that most definitely don’t matter in the long run, and I never understood why I couldn’t get over those problems. And then last night it finally hit me. I was being proud, and holding myself and what others thought of me over everything else. I had regarded it as selfishness, but I have a tendency to think of selfishness only in the terms of little kids taking toys from other little kids and not sharing and all those watered down analogies we get taught when we’re young. I never thought of it as straight up, nasty, twisted pride. That always seemed like such a leap for me for some reason.
So, of course, as I often do, I got home from church last night, went to bed, and sort of forgot about everything good I had learned yesterday. Then today, I found myself being impatient with people, and rude, and defending myself over nothing. After that, everything from yesterday all came back to me, and I had a major “oh crap” moment realizing that I was doing exactly what I had been convicted of the night before.
Listening is crazy important. It’s so easy for me to wander around and not listen, and only pay attention to what’s directly in front of my nose. You can’t really get too far in life doing that kind of thing. The other extremely non-listening thing that I do is pray for guidance or answers or whatever and then sit there wondering why I never hear God answer me. Yesterday it finally hit me that maybe I’m so focused on myself and what I want and MY timing that I’m not being patient and still and listening for God’s reply. It says in 1st Kings 19:12 that God was in a gentle whisper. With the way my mind runs all the time, there’s no way that I’d ever notice a gentle whisper. Luckily, that can change, and I can apply these things I’ve been learning 😉
I just felt like sharing what I learned yesterday 🙂 It was a good day.
Also, while writing this post, I discovered that when I’m on a roll with a subject, I can write like 640 words in about 10 minutes. I have no idea how that happened.
Talk to you soon,